Yes. I am Married

As an artist, I was always taught to never give up my dream, to always persist in the face of rejection, and to do everything it might take to fulfill that dream. Then I moved to London, met someone, and got married.

When others find out that I trained as an actress and am now married, the reaction seems to be shock that I still want to pursue the theatre or sorrow that "I've given up". Why? Because I had the desire to share my life with someone, does that mean I now somehow cannot "make it" in the acting industry? Are acting and marriage mutually exclusive? My husband supports my dream. In actual fact, he supports everything I do. So what is it about the industry I find myself in that means I'm not allowed to become a success even with a family?

Sadly, this question relates to the larger debate of women in this industry--we are constantly told we have to look a certain way, behave a certain way, or fit into a certain "type". Yes men experience typecasting too. But surely there is more freedom to break type if you can also get married, have a family, and even pursue the craft later in life, without it becoming a huge exception to the rule. Why is it that one of my acting teachers was able to come in and teach us after his wife had a baby to responses of "congratulations Dad" while if it had been his wife, she would have been told "shouldn't you be at home?" Why is it that Seth Rogen can play the Green Hornet and break typing barriers for men but we don't see much of Nikki Blonsky or Gabourey Sidibe, both amazing actresses who may not fit into the "industry standard". Before this entry becomes an argument about women in the industry (rather than this paragraph being background information), I will move on.

Yes. I am married. I have a husband and someday hope to have a family. But I still have a dream. I have not given up on my career. I hope to be successful in whatever way that success chooses to find me. I do not want to sit at home the rest of my life, cleaning house and cooking (in my next entry, I will discuss the fact that being at home, looking for work, is not the same thing as being a housewife). I have a ring on my finger and an obligation to support my husband just like he has an obligation to support me. But does that stop me from being talented? Does it stop me from wanting to fulfill my dream? No.

So for all the people out there who think that getting married means you've given up on your craft or that its now impossible, all I have to say is:

Yes. I am married. So what?