Weekend Breaks

I've taken time off from blogging over the weekend because I believe in the importance of weekend breaks. This doesn't gel with the whole "being an actress" thing right?

Well it sort of does. Many theatres are dark at least one night a week, giving you the weekend break of one day at some point during the week. Even if you work every evening, its fun work, and your "weekend break" will then become the period between jobs, which could stretch to be too long really.

I was once told, "As an actor, your job will be finding work and auditioning. Your break will be the performance." I fully believe this. Until last year, I had never been out of a show. Granted these were mostly unpaid performances, but I was always working on a role, and it was VERY fun work. Hard. But fun. People who work 9-5 come home and complain about their days and seem to hate their jobs (after being there long enough) but I always thought, "Acting is fun...I will never experience this boredom at my job."

How wrong I was.

Yes the actual performance is fun. But my job is not to perform...that's the reward. That's the perk of becoming a working actor. My job is to audition. My job is to look for castings and figure out how the industry in the UK works (because it is different to the US. I will explore that even further in my next entry). That's the depressing, tedious bit. No job is perfect. Acting might appear to be great at first light but the long weekend breaks can be very discouraging. Its the hardest job in the world because you have to come through all the rejection and "rests", but if you come through it...if you make it....the rewards are incredible!

Weekends are important times to recuperate for the rest of the work week. Its important to de-stress and relax and spend time with loved ones. Even on a busy acting schedule, it is important to find time to do this, whether your "weekend" is the traditional one or not!

So I took a weekend break from blogging but I can't take any real breaks (at least not now) from looking. We as actors, can't. We have to constantly network and look for any opportunity possible and create ways of keeping our craft fresh.

I'll explain more about this later (once its actually going somewhere) but for me, in order to do this, I have started creating a theatre company. Because we also have to support each other as actors. Otherwise we face becoming crushed by the industry. Support from each other will help us all to make it! "Weekend breaks" or not!

Harry Potter Mania

Ok guys so this one is a bit of a break from the acting thing. Well not really...I'll discuss the media stuff but I want to relate it all to one of my favorite series....Harry Potter!

NERD.

Yes. So? I met my husband through Harry Potter and many of my closest friends and the other close friends all pretty much loved it anyway (and I knew them beforehand) so its not that bad! (But it is that good...) Tickets for the last film went on sale today and I snagged a bunch. I bought about 8 and though my friends are paying me back for their shares, it was a substantial chuck of change. This is not good. I have no job and no interviews and we have to move and canceled trips etc. But we will see Harry Potter. I have my priorities straight!

This is the media. Massive waves of fans spending all the money they have on a work of fiction. If I ever become successful in the media industry (as an actress or perhaps a writer) I would hope to only have a fraction of the success of Harry Potter. I would hope to change the world only slightly as much as that series did. It might not be what some consider "fine art". It might be a blockbuster film series based on an even better story from children's literature which by many standards is not really all that great in terms of writing, but what its done speaks volumes about how amazing it is. It inspired people to create music, art, stories, all published on fan sites or produced in underground music movements. It encouraged an entire generation to read. It changed the lives of many, like me, who met the people they love the most through events brought about by the series.

I have been freaking out all day because I have these midnight release tickets. Its silly. I'm an adult now. I'm not a student and I'm not a kid at home with my parents. But I still get this excited about this particular final installment in one of the best-loved series of all time. (Getting ahead of myself? Maybe but I don't think so.) But the media success of this story inspires me to change the world. In any way I can. I know it sounds stupid like the whole "Miss America" answer system ....what do you want? "World Peace!" But really what I mean by the inspiration to change the world is that having seen this series be so successful and make such a difference, I know one person can start that. I know I want to start that sort of thing. And so I will.

Harry Potter mania--inspiring tale or ridiculous over-hyped media franchise? I know what I think.

What do you?

Lessons in Dealing with Rejection

So the biggest issue we face as artists is rejection of our work. For acting, particularly actresses, this happens way more often than we'd like.

This post comes out of the fact that I just applied for a PhD in Drama (so that I could maybe try and teach someday and earn money while auditioning. The rejection email was a wonderful, carefully written email, designed so as not to completely crush me--which is why I applied to that particular university in the first place! But it was yet another rejection. I've had many and most of them directly involve my craft, which as most actors will know, can be held very close to the heart. Its easy to take it personally.

But we can't. We must carry on. The best thing about living in England is this "chin up" attitude. The saying "keep calm and carry on". Its all very British--and its all very good at getting me through these millions of rejections. OK it may not be millions, but it is discouraging. The more I don't find something, whether it be an audition that I finally pass or a part time job to get me through (even a full time job at this point would be fine as long as its somewhere where I could network and not working at McDonalds for 40 hours a week), the more discouraged I get. Its downright depressing.

Not to mention that time when I DID pass an audition for a student film and filmed the first scene and they called me the next day to say they'd gone in another direction even though they were impressed with my work. And I know I didn't do badly. I did my best, which is pretty damn good. I was very professional. Maybe I was too professional and they were, well, students...I don't know. They probably went with a friend instead. But I know I did well. And it was painful. I didn't audition for weeks after that. (That's bad by the way. But its where I discovered "chin up" and "keep calm carry on" so it was probably necessary.)

I'm also aware I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its hard for everyone who starts out. But I've resolved to find a bit of income and then carry on. No PhD? No problem. I can still create art. I know what I'm doing. I've been involved in theatre work since I was a little kid. It may not have been professional but it did get me through life and I understand what I'm doing. Its probably the only place I DO know what I'm doing. I've let rejection get to me before and I've come through the other side.

So for anyone out there who is struggling to deal with rejection--be it in the theatre or even out of it...

Keep Calm and Carry On! (You'll get there someday.)

But I HAVE a job!

Having the time to write this blog in the middle of the day, I realize that it looks like I don't have a job. I don't bring home any money and my husband brings home all of it. I also do a pretty crappy job of being "a housewife". OK yeah I occasionally do some cleaning and I tend to make dinner. But I spend more of my time looking for work, trying to find auditions, and continuing training exercises like breathing work and relaxation techniques (that sounds like more fun than it actually is...its actually work, despite the name).

And yes, I don't even do this as often as I should, simply because there is too much to do. Somehow because I stay at home, despite the fact that I never vacuum the house, my husband gets the idea that I'm supposed to look after him. I wonder if this is the media at work again because I certainly have never let him believe that I'd be happy to stay at home all day cleaning. And when I do stay at home all day (which is more often now that I have no job which brings in money), I spend the time looking for work, applying for jobs or that PhD in Drama I applied for last week. I spend the time looking for (and failing to find) open auditions. The UK (by which I mean London) doesn't seem to be as good about spreading the news about these as New York is or was when I lived there.

Don't get me wrong...our house is not a pigsty. Its a little messy because I don't dust, vacuum, and polish furniture every day. But my husband does a pretty good job of cleaning on the weekends and some evenings and we never leave actual dirt/food spills anywhere. Its just dust etc. We're too busy! (Working.)

So for everyone who tells me I need to find a job and for everyone that assumes that while I don't have a job, I have to be a housewife....
I HAVE a job! My job is to find those auditions and get my face out there. My job is to keep on working on that theatre company I'm trying to start and work on the application for a PhD (if not this year, maybe I'll get in next year). My job is not to go become a bartender (though I probably should find something that does make a little bit of money temporarily). My job is to go become an actress! And that, slowly but surely, is what I'm doing. Its a tough job. I'm blessed in a way that I only really need to earn a supplementary amount because my husband's income (not now but soon) will cover our living costs. I'm blessed that because of that, I can follow my dream and my husband supports and encourages that. And sometimes gives me a little push. But I have a job! So stop telling me (generic people out there) that I don't!!!

Yes. I am Married

As an artist, I was always taught to never give up my dream, to always persist in the face of rejection, and to do everything it might take to fulfill that dream. Then I moved to London, met someone, and got married.

When others find out that I trained as an actress and am now married, the reaction seems to be shock that I still want to pursue the theatre or sorrow that "I've given up". Why? Because I had the desire to share my life with someone, does that mean I now somehow cannot "make it" in the acting industry? Are acting and marriage mutually exclusive? My husband supports my dream. In actual fact, he supports everything I do. So what is it about the industry I find myself in that means I'm not allowed to become a success even with a family?

Sadly, this question relates to the larger debate of women in this industry--we are constantly told we have to look a certain way, behave a certain way, or fit into a certain "type". Yes men experience typecasting too. But surely there is more freedom to break type if you can also get married, have a family, and even pursue the craft later in life, without it becoming a huge exception to the rule. Why is it that one of my acting teachers was able to come in and teach us after his wife had a baby to responses of "congratulations Dad" while if it had been his wife, she would have been told "shouldn't you be at home?" Why is it that Seth Rogen can play the Green Hornet and break typing barriers for men but we don't see much of Nikki Blonsky or Gabourey Sidibe, both amazing actresses who may not fit into the "industry standard". Before this entry becomes an argument about women in the industry (rather than this paragraph being background information), I will move on.

Yes. I am married. I have a husband and someday hope to have a family. But I still have a dream. I have not given up on my career. I hope to be successful in whatever way that success chooses to find me. I do not want to sit at home the rest of my life, cleaning house and cooking (in my next entry, I will discuss the fact that being at home, looking for work, is not the same thing as being a housewife). I have a ring on my finger and an obligation to support my husband just like he has an obligation to support me. But does that stop me from being talented? Does it stop me from wanting to fulfill my dream? No.

So for all the people out there who think that getting married means you've given up on your craft or that its now impossible, all I have to say is:

Yes. I am married. So what?